


Genshiken drabbles

by KB9VCN



Category: Genshiken
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2006-02-19
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2018-05-23 07:21:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 69
Words: 7,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6109320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB9VCN/pseuds/KB9VCN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Published 19-Feb-2006; humor; 100 words.</p><p>For the <a href="http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/"><strong>wordoftheday100</strong></a> "<a href="http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/101249.html">excoriate</a>" prompt.</p><p>This contains very mild adult humor.  Reader discretion is advised.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Good Enough To Eat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 19-Feb-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[excoriate](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/101249.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains very mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Kohsaka came into the Genshiken club-room alone.

"Where's Saki?" asked Sasahara.

"We had a big fight," Kohsaka said mildly. "She wanted to make lunch for me, just to get my attention, I guess..."

"Why would she excoriate you for her own idea?" Madarame asked.

"Because I suggested she do French maid cosplay while she made it," Kohsaka said.

Everybody sighed sadly.

And then, everyone except Ohno began to drool over the mental image of Saki in a French maid costume.

Ohno whimpered. She certainly wasn't opposed to French maid cosplay on principle, but the guys were creeping her out again.


	2. Done With Doujinshi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 2-Mar-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[nothing false and possible](http://31-days.livejournal.com/440911.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Sasahara was engrossed in a new doujinshi. Saki peeked over his shoulder at the open pages, against her better judgment.

After a moment, she slowly tilted her head to the right.

And then, she cleared her throat. "Um, Sasahara? You know that women can't do that, right?"

"Of course," Sasahara said. "That's why I like doujinshi like these. It isn't real. The characters can do impossible things to each other that, in real life, would result in physical and mental trauma."

"I've been spending way too much time here," Saki said. "That made sense, in a sick and twisted way."


	3. Not Worth Repeating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 5-Mar-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[malaise](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/103356.html)" prompt.

Saki couldn't help but notice the heavy malaise in Genshiken's meeting room. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Sasahara explained. "The first episode of 'Mecha Angel Sepiroth' has been pre-empted." As if on cue, the other Genshiken members sighed sadly.

Saki turned to a shelf full of video-tapes. "Why don't you just watch, uh... 'Kawaii Sailor Nuriko'?"

"We've watched that one fifty-seven times," Tanaka said.

"How about... 'Dragon-Slayer Sakana'?"

"We've seen that one eighty-nine times," Kugayama said.

Saki sighed. "I can't believe how you losers are wasting your lives on this stuff."

Madarame smirked. "We've heard that three hundred fourteen times— OUCH!!"


	4. Hair Down To There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 19-Mar-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**firstlines1000**](http://firstlines1000.livejournal.com/) #55 "[Don't be foolish, Bob](http://community.livejournal.com/firstlines1000/48107.html)" prompt.

"Don't be foolish, Ohno!" said Saki, as she pulled her friend along by an arm. "You have to have your hair trimmed, sooner or later!"

"But I like it long!" Ohno said. "And you know I cosplay girls with long hair!"

"You don't have to wear it as short as mine," Saki said, "but you've got to get it out of your face! How can you even see?"

Ohno pulled away from Saki. "I can see just fine!—" And then, she walked into a street lamp full-on.

Saki sweat-dropped. "Okay, after the hair-dresser, I'm taking you to an eye doctor."


	5. Clubbed Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 26-Mar-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[dilettante](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/105309.html)" prompt.

The male Genshiken members were comparing their "war wounds."

Madarame flexed his wrist. It made a sickening bone-on-bone sound. "This never healed properly after Saki squeezed it."

Tanaka rubbed the bumps on his head. "Cosplay head wounds."

Kohsaka pulled up his shirt, and pointed out some bruises along his rib-cage. "You don't want to know how Saki did this."

"Uh, guys?" Sasahara said nervously. "Isn't this kinda weird?"

"We wear our mundane-girl scars with pride!!" Madarame shouted. "They separate the dedicated fan-boys from the dilettantes!!"

Sasahara gulped. He was getting used to Saki's violent temper, but this bordered on masochism.


	6. Currying Favor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 26-Mar-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[she being brand new](http://31-days.livejournal.com/440911.html)" prompt.
> 
> This takes place shortly after episode 5 of the TV series.

The club had gone to a local restaurant after hours to celebrate Saki's membership.

"What a dump," Saki said. "Couldn't we go somewhere better than this hole-in-the-wall curry place? I didn't even know there was a restaurant here."

"This restaurant is a well-guarded club secret," Madarame said. "Very few are privileged to eat here."

"Whatever," Saki said dismissively. "Let's eat." She took a bite of curry— and froze.

"Well?" Madarame asked.

Saki was so overwhelmed that she brushed tears from her eyes. "This is the BEST curry I've EVER TASTED," she whispered reverently.

"See?" Kohsaka said. "Membership has its privileges."


	7. Getting To Know All About You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 27-Apr-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[confluence](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/107401.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild adult language and humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Saki noticed everyone else staring expectantly at her. "What!?" she said.

"We've realized," Madarame said, "that we haven't taken full advantage of our confluence of cultures."

Saki blinked. "Huh?"

"You've learned so much about our _otaku_ lives," Madarame said. "Our hopes and dreams, our fears and desires. We want to learn more about you."

Saki smirked. "Like hell I'd share my secrets with freaks like you."

"That isn't what you said last night," Kohsaka said mildly.

Everyone else leaned forward.

Saki slowly turned to her clueless boyfriend. "Kohsaka, dear?" she growled. "NOT. The TIME. For THAT."

Everyone else leaned back.


	8. Comic Question

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 8-Jun-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[cognoscente](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/109192.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains rather explicit adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

After hours of waiting in line, the gang found themselves in the _otaku_ paradise of Comiket.

Sasahara was actually hopping from foot to foot. "Uh, Madarame? Where's the, uh—"

Madarame smirked. "Don't you know where the best _doujinshi_ are sold? After all, you're one of the 'Comiket Cognoscente' now. Well... cat-girl _yuri doujinshi_ are sold there, nurses in bondage are over there, and cross-dressing robot maids are—"

"No," Sasahara said urgently, "I need to use the restroom."

Madarame sighed. "You would let 'that' come between you and _doujinshi_? You disappoint me, Sasahara. Down the hall, second door on the left."


	9. Hot Or Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 25-Jun-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[arbiter](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/111206.html)" prompt.

The club was shopping together in [Akihabara](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akihabara).

"Oh, look," said Sasahara, pointing at a television in a shop window. "I haven't seen that anime yet."

Madarame gave the anime a thumbs-up. "Hot," he said.

"What do you think of that video game?" Kohsaka asked, pointing it out.

Madarame gave it a thumbs-down. "Not."

"Oh!" said Ohno, pointing at a shop across the street. "Look at that cos-play uniform!"

"Hot!" Madarame said, with an enthusiastic thumbs-up.

Saki smirked. "Who annointed you the arbiter of all things 'Hot Or Not'?"

Madarame pointed at Saki's face and gave her a thumbs-down. "NOT— OUCH!!"


	10. Black To Block

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 9-Jul-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**wordoftheday100**](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/) "[aficionado](http://wordoftheday100.livejournal.com/113378.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains very mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Madarame found Saki reading a new manga with a mostly-black cover.

"GAH!!" said Madarame. "You're leaving fingerprints!!"

Saki scowled. "What!?"

Madarame snatched the manga away from Saki, and carefully slid it into a plastic cover. "Every manga aficionado knows that you can't touch goods with black covers!!"

_Interesting_ , Saki thought.

—

**The next day...**

The usually unflappable Kohsaka blinked in surprise as Saki walked up to him. She was entirely dressed in black, including long black gloves and a veil.

"Uh, Saki?" asked Kohsaka. "Are you going 'goth'?"

"I'm trying not to get groped by _otaku_ ," Saki said.

"Ohh-kay," said Kohsaka.


	11. The Disappointed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 4-Sep-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[objects reflected from the impassioned imagination](http://31-days.livejournal.com/648089.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "[The Disappointed](http://www.allmusic.com/song/the-disappointed-mt0012258607)" by XTC.

The day after Comiket, Saki found the other Genshiken sadly and listlessly reading their _doujinshi_.

"Now what!?" Saki said. "You've been to Comiket. Why aren't you happy!?"

"It's post-Comiket letdown," Kohsaka said. "When you look forward to an event for a year, it can't possibly meet your expectations. It's like when you go to a critically acclaimed movie, and it's pretentious and boring... or when your favorite band releases a new album, and it isn't very good."

"Or," Saki said dryly, "when your cute, kind and smart boyfriend turns out to be a clueless video-game addict?"

"Exactly," Kohsaka said cluelessly.


	12. Pearls Be For Swine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 9-Nov-2006; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[scattered pearls](http://31-days.livejournal.com/801187.html)" prompt.

Saki had followed the club to a bookstore, against her better judgment. She managed to remain patient for a whole five minutes.

"HEY!!" she shouted at Madarame. "Can we GO yet!?"

"Of course not!" Madarame said. "Even with my advanced browsing skills, it takes time to find 'pearls in the rough'."

"A few other guys came and went already," Saki noted.

"The fools!" Madarame said. "They wouldn't know good _doujinshi_ if it was thrown at them!!"

"If you're talking about 'casting pearls before swine'," Saki growled, "I agree. The 'pigs' in here are seriously creeping me out. Present company included."


	13. Cos Double Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 12-Jan-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) 2006 Theme Exchange #12 "[and what costume shall the poor girl wear to all tomorrow's parties?](http://ea-fanworks.livejournal.com/2655.html)" prompt.

"I went to a party, the other day," Ohno said to a bored Saki, "and someone was wearing exactly the same thing that *I* was wearing. It was so embarrassing!"

The fashion-conscious Saki suddenly took interest. "I HATE it when that happens!"

"And Tanaka worked so hard on my costume!" Ohno said sadly.

Saki groaned, and stood up. "Your costume?... I should've known you wouldn't wear a dress to a party."

"Where are you going?" Ohno asked.

"If you both wore the same costume, then whatever you've got might be contagious," Saki said, "and I don't want to catch it."


	14. Re Collections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 24-Mar-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[forever, which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1000590.html)" prompt.

A bored Saki looked around Kohsaka's tiny room. "When are you gonna get rid of some of this stuff?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Kohsaka asked cheerfully, without pausing his video game.

"You're always buyin' more games and manga," Saki said. "This tiny room is packed."

"That's alright," Kohsaka said. "I'll have more room for my collection when I get a proper apartment after school."

"You can't keep all of your toys forever!" Saki said.

"You buy lots of clothes," Kohsaka noted. "When will you get rid of some of them?"

"There's no need to get personal," Saki growled.


	15. Blame The Weather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 12-Apr-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "a beautiful day" prompt.
> 
> See also "Blame The Weather" by XTC.

Genshiken had convened in the club-room. "What's on the agenda for today?" Sasahara asked.

"Let's go outside," Madarame said.

Saki blinked. "Who are you, and what have you done with Madarame?"

"It's a beautiful day," Madarame said. "The temperature is twenty-two point two degrees Celsius; the humidity is fifty-nine percent; the barometric pressure is—"

Saki cut him off. "Okay, I get it. You're a 'weather otaku'. You always take everything too seriously."

"Does that mean you don't want to go out?" Kohsaka asked.

Saki pondered a walk through the cherry blossoms with her cute boyfriend. "Oh, I didn't say that."


	16. All In The Game Of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 17-May-2007; angst/humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[heart wrecker, heart wrecker, make me delight](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1111764.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains vague mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Kohsaka was playing video games, as usual. Saki suddenly sat down beside him, and picked up another controller.

Kohsaka paused his game. "...Saki?" he said. "I thought you wouldn't play video games again."

"This is a new game," Saki said. "These are the rules: The winner gets to do anything they want with the loser. Even * _ugh_ * cos-play. The only catch is, you must stop ignoring me, and do SOMETHING with me."

"Are you sure about this?" Kohsaka asked. 

"I've been playing the game of love to lose," a resigned Saki said. "I might as well literally play to lose."


	17. In Another Department

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 12-Jul-2007; angst?/humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[...for a different sort of man](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1165513.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains very mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Saki walked into a department store. "Can I help you, Miss?" a saleswoman asked her.

"I'm looking for something for my boyfriend's birthday," Saki said.

"Perhaps some cologne?" the saleswoman asked. "Or some fine clothing?"

"Actually," Saki said, "Kohsaka is already unusually well-groomed for a guy."

"Sporting goods?" the saleswoman asked.

"No, he isn't really interested in that."

The saleswoman smiled slyly. "Perhaps, intimate clothing for you to wear?"

Saki sighed sadly. "He's hardly even interested in that."

The saleswoman suddenly seemed to understand Saki's plight. "Video games are that way. And Miss? My sympathies."

"Thank you," Saki said sincerely.


	18. Do It When It's Due

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 31-Jul-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[our time is running out](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1165513.html)" prompt.

Ohno had brought some college coursework to the clubroom with her. Saki watched her frantically flip through reference books with one hand and scribble barely legible notes with the other hand.

"Are you writing the paper that was assigned this morning?" Saki asked. "What's the rush? It isn't due for another two weeks."

"I don't have much free time between now and then," Ohno said. "I also have some cos-play sessions coming up, and I'll spend several hours in line waiting for some new releases."

 _She might be clinically insane_ , Saki thought to herself, _but her work ethic is commendable_.


	19. Under Pinning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 11-Aug-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[you weave the magic of your love around me](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1186164.html)" prompt.

Tanaka was wrapping bolts of cloth around a fully-clothed Ohno, and pinning them in place. "You're using lots of cloth," Ohno said.

"I'm making a very complicated costume— oh, that's my cell-phone," Tanaka said. "Hello?... No, I'm just... alright! I'll be right there."

"Problem?" Ohno asked.

"Genshiken summons," Tanaka said. "I'm sorry. Can we finish this later?"

"Of course," Ohno said. "Go ahead."

After Tanaka left, Ohno suddenly realized that her arms were pinned down and her legs were wrapped up. She couldn't move.

_Oh dear_ , Ohno thought. _And we cosplayers usually complain because our costumes have too LITTLE material._


	20. Aspartamed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 24-Aug-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[be sweet, be false](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1186164.html)" prompt.

As Saki and Ohno waited in line for a cafeteria lunch, Saki grabbed two cans of diet soda. "Want some soda?" she asked Ohno. "My treat."

"Thank you," Ohno said, "but I never drink diet soda. [Artifical sweeteners](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aspartame_controversy) will degrade your eyesight. They even cause brain damage!"

Saki giggled. "Oh, come on, hon! That's just an urban legend."

Ohno pointed. Saki turned and saw a bespectacled Madarame, holding another can of diet soda, and talking to himself about the anime he had watched last night.

Saki quickly returned her two cans of diet soda and got two bottles of water.


	21. Insert Tab A Into Slot B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 8-Sep-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[dovetailed solution of your heart](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1216936.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Saki was trying to ignore Madarame and Sasahara as they argued over an illustration.

"Just look at it!!" Madarame shouted. "There's no way it fits in there!!"

"Sure it does!!" Sasahara said. "You just hold it up and slowly slide it in—"

"Fer cryin' out loud!" Saki suddenly snapped. "What kind of _doujinshi_ are you reading!?"

"They're model assembly instructions!" Madarame said. "I don't know what YOU'RE thinking!"

Ohno interrupted the arguments with some disturbing giggling. A dreamy look had come to her eyes, and she was even drooling.

"I think we all know what she's thinking," Saki said nervously.


	22. Bring Me A Newbie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 27-Nov-2007; humor; 200 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[green, I want you green](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1306859.html)" prompt.

Sasahara and Madarame were staffing the Genshiken table at another university open house.

"Think we'll get any new members today?" Sasahara asked idly.

"I hope so," Madarame said distantly. "This is my last chance before graduation to mold impressionable young minds."

Sasahara sighed. "Well, you've certainly left indelible fingerprints on my brain—"

Ignoring him, Madarame stood up from his chair and pointed at a girl as she walked up. "FRESH MEAT!!" he shrieked.

The girl blinked. "Excuse me?"

Sasahara cleared his throat. "Down, Madarame!... Hello, Miss. We're the 'Society For Study Of Modern Visual Culture'—"

"Oh!" the girl said. "You're Genshiken, right?"

"You've heard of us?" a surprised Madarame asked.

The girl smiled sweetly. "Actually, I was looking for you. You see, my boyfriend is into anime and video games, and I don't know much about that stuff..."

"This story is strangely familiar," Sasahara said to himself.

"...and I was thinking of auditing your club," the girl said eagerly. "I mean, it's only anime and video games. There isn't that much to it, right?... Right?..."

Madarame began to drool. "Oh," he said to himself, "SHE'LL be FUN to BREAK."

The girl sweat-dropped.

"Miss?" said Sasahara. "Run. Run far. Run fast."


	23. Thank Genshiken It's Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 9-Dec-2007; angst?/humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[in love on Fridays](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1321868.html)" prompt.

Saki and Kohsaka stopped by the Genshiken club-room early one Friday evening. "Sorry, we can't stay," Kohsaka said. "We've made plans."

"Dinner at an expensive restaurant, and box seats for the orchestra," Saki said happily, "and then, I'm staying at Kohsaka's— and he promised to unplug the TV and the games, and give me his undivided attention!"

"Sounds boring," Madarame said.

"You're just jealous," Saki said smugly, "because you'll never have a hot Friday night date!"

After the happy couple left, a glum Madarame addressed the remaining club members. "All those in favor of mass suicide?"

Everybody raised their hands.


	24. Call Wait, What

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 24-Dec-2007; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[all senses busy, come back for attention later](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1321868.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains explicit adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

The other Genshiken members were waiting on Kohsaka and Saki while they waited in a line.

"Where ARE they!!" Madarame growled. "They had BETTER be COMING!!"

"Now, now..." Ohno said soothingly. "I'll call Saki on my cell-phone. Hmm, she isn't answering... Oh! Saki?"

"Hi * _hanh_ * Ohno * _hanh_ *" Saki said over the phone.

"Are you alright?" Ohno asked nervously.

"Never * _hanh_ * better * _hanh_ *" Saki said.

"We were wondering," Ohno said, "if you and Kohsaka were..."

"* _HANH!!_ * * _HANH!!_ * * _HANH!!_ *" said Saki. "HANH-HANH-HANH-HANH-HANH— HAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGH!!"

A mortified Ohno ended the call. "Well!?" asked Madarame. "Are they coming!?"

"It sounds like it," Ohno said mildly.


	25. Fandom Singularity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 18-Feb-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[infinite riches in a little room](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1430852.html)" prompt.

"I'm surprised that you're still coming to these club meetings," Sasahara said to Saki, "now that you know what it's all about."

"It's not as if I have a choice," Saki said sadly. "There's so much fan-boy-ism in this room, it's collapsed under its own weight, and formed an inescapable black hole of fan-boy suckiness. Not even sane people like me can escape it."

"...that's a cuh- clever idea," Kugayama said. "Muh- mind if I use it in a stuh- story?"

"Not at all," a disinterested Saki said. "But whatever you do, don't credit it to my name in print."


	26. He Brang Da Funk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 29-Feb-2008; angst?/humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[come give me my soul again](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1430852.html)" prompt.

A distraught Saki had gone to Ohno's apartment for comfort. "What's wrong!?" Ohno asked.

"Kohsaka took me dancing," Saki said miserably.

"What's wrong with that?" Ohno asked. "Most girls can't get their boyfriends to dance at all."

"Even if he doesn't look it," Saki said, "Kohsaka is an _otaku_. And _otaku_ can't dance. It was like watching someone have a seizure on a roller coaster."

Ohno embraced Saki. "Oh, you poor thing!" she said earnestly.

Saki began to cry. "I feel like my soul was surgically removed without anaesthesia."

"Wanna watch my 'Riverdance' DVD?" Ohno asked.

"Yes, please," Saki sniffled.


	27. Calling Kohsaka

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 4-Apr-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[the cadence of her voice](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1549763.html)" prompt.

Saki stood up to leave the club-room. Kohsaka, engrossed in a manga, didn't rise to follow her.

"Kohsaka?" asked Saki. Kohsaka didn't even look up from his manga.

"Kohsaka!!" said Sasahara. "Didn't you hear Saki!?"

"Yes," Kohsaka said, "but she hasn't said anything, and there's no urgency in her voice."

"Oh, Koh-saka," Saki purred.

"Now she's trying to get my attention with her seductive feminine wiles," Kohsaka noted.

"KOHSAKA!!" yelled Saki.

Kohsaka finally stood up. "And that tone means 'come here before I hurt you'," he said cheerfully.

_Maybe women aren't difficult to understand after all_ , Sasahara thought to himself.


	28. Eye Catch Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 20-Jun-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[enchantment passing through](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1634356.html)" prompt.

Saki found Ohno dressed up in a beautiful costume— and the rest of the club ignoring her and watching the television.

"Never thought I'd see them ignoring a cosplayer," Saki said.

"They're watching a new anime release," Ohno said. "Oh, there's the commercial-break eye-catches."

The rest of the club turned in their chairs and ogled Ohno during the eye-catches, and then turned back to their anime.

"That's all you get!?" an incredulous Saki asked.

"Actually," Ohno said, "I consider myself lucky to have drawn their attention away from '2D girls' even for a few seconds."

"You shouldn't," Saki said earnestly.


	29. Widow Make Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 8-Jul-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[widow to be](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1685108.html)" prompt.

Kohsaka was completely involved in a video game, as usual. Saki was staring sullenly at the back of Kohsaka's head, while Ohno nervously sat next to her.

"So!" Ohno said brightly, trying to engage Saki in conversation. "You and Kohsaka have been a couple for quite awhile now. Do you think that you and he might... you know... get married after college?"

"Dunno," Saki said distantly. "We haven't talked about it... YO, KOHSAKA!! WANNA GET MARRIED!?"

Kohsaka ignored her.

"I suppose there's no point in marrying him," Saki growled, "since I'd probably just kill him and end up a widow."


	30. Bride's Made Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 18-Jul-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[marrying pain](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1685108.html)" prompt.

"I have a confidential question," Saki said to Ohno. "If— God help me— Kohsaka and I get married, would you like to be my bridesmaid?"

"Oh!... I'd be honored!" Ohno said emotionally. "Thank you, Saki!"

Saki grinned. "I'm sorry to ask you to wear a bridesmaid dress, given all those fancy costumes you like to wear."

"Maybe Tanaka could make the bridesmaid dresses!" Ohno said. "Maybe he could even work on a dress for you, Saki—"

The smile fell from Saki's face. "NO," she said.

Ohno blinked. "But— I'm sure he could make something really nice—"

"NO," Saki said again.


	31. Bruised Ego

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 8-Aug-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[the many colors of a bruise](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1720454.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains gross-out humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Madarame slowly and painfully hobbled into the Genshiken club-room. "Ow... ow... ow..." he said.

"What's wrong?" Sasahara asked.

"Stubbed my toe," Madarame gasped. "But it's nothing! Nothing, I tell you!"

Sasahara walked up to him. "Haven't you learned anything from when you broke your wrist?... C'mon, let's have a look at it."

Madarame took off his shoe, out of sight of the others. He and Sasahara both took a look at his gruesome swollen toe, and then they both passed out.

Kohsaka calmly dialed his cell phone. "Emergency services? This is the Genshiken club-room. We need TWO stretcher parties, please."


	32. Mai Waifu Can Beat Up Ur Waifu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 26-Aug-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[you are all I know](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1720454.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Madarame and Sasahara were arguing loudly. "What's their problem?" Saki asked Kohsaka.

"They're debating which anime character is the strongest in battle," Kohsaka said, "Madarame's favorite or Sasahara's favorite."

"And they're both the usual super-powered, super-endowed female characters, right?" Saki asked.

"Yep," said Kohsaka.

"If they knew any real girls," Saki said, "maybe they wouldn't have weird arguments like that. Oh well, at least they're not making up stories about those two girls doing perverted things to each other."

"They already had that discussion," Kohsaka said cheerfully, "just before you got here."

"EWW!! EWW!! EWW!!" said Saki. "And also, EWW!!"


	33. 10:15 Saturday Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 18-Dec-2008; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[a common passion for the lonely hour](http://31-days.livejournal.com/1912785.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "10:15 Saturday Night" by the Cure.

With nothing to do and nowhere else to go, the gang found themselves spending a Saturday night in the club-room.

Madarame glanced at his watch and sighed. "It's after ten o'clock," he said. "Too late to read another run of manga."

"Too late to start an anime video marathon," Sasahara said.

"It's probably too late for a video game tournament, as well," Kohsaka said cheerfully.

"And it's too late," Saki said sadly, "for me to have any real fun while I'm still young enough to enjoy it."

"Oh, it's far, FAR too late for THAT," Madarame said with sadistic glee.


	34. Fan Fiction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 19-Feb-2009; humor; 200 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days_exchnge**](http://31-days-exchnge.livejournal.com/) "myth makers" prompt.
> 
> This contains cracks in the Fourth Wall. Reader discretion is advised.

Madarame and Sasahara had the Genshiken club-room to themselves. Madarame finished watching an anime, turned back to the main table, and found Sasahara typing on a laptop computer.

"What are you working on?" Madarame asked.

"Oh, nothing," Sasahara said, just a bit too quickly and nervously.

Madarame smelled blood. "Obviously not a video game, and probably not course-work... Why, could it be that you're writing—"

"Yes! I'm writing!" Sasahara snapped. "It's creative writing!"

"It's fan fiction, isn't it?" Madarame asked gleefully.

"It's CREATIVE WRITING!!" Sasahara shouted.

"We quibble over terms," Madarame said, condescendingly patting Sasahara's shoulder. "It doesn't matter what you call it— it proves that you're so far into fandom, and so removed from reality, that you can no longer hide your inner _otaku_ with that dull and boring personality of yours."

"Gee, thanks," Sasahara said.

"So what is the latest Great Novel about?" Madarame asked.

"It's about some characters' lives after high school," Sasahara said. "They join a college club where they hang out watching anime and reading manga, and—"

"FOOL!!" Madarame cried. "The first rule of fan-fiction is to write something other fans will want to read! Who would ever read a story about losers like THAT!?"


	35. Casting Asparagus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 23-Jul-2010; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[This is the dawning of the Age Of Asparagus](http://31-days.livejournal.com/2542381.html)" prompt.

Saki walked into the club-room, and noticed the others staring at her. "What!?" she snarled.

"Sorry," said Sasahara. "It's just, you look exactly like the evil mutant asparagus girl from last night's episode of—"

"Like WHAT!?" Saki said in disbelief. "That's the dumbest thing I've heard here yet!!"

As Sasahara turned away, Ohno winked at Saki, and held two stalks of asparagus against Saki's head like horns. "Hey, Sasahara?" said Ohno.

Sasahara turned back, and shrieked in terror. "AAAAIIEE!!"

And then, everybody else shrieked in terror. "AAAAIIEE!!"

"On the other hand," Saki said to Ohno, "this could have its uses."


	36. Crush Your Crush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 14-Feb-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[this is the only way I know how to love you](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3162331.html)" prompt.
> 
> Partly inspired by _RWBY_ v3e12. (I'm with Saki on this one.)

Saki sat next to Madarame, and found him engrossed in a new _doujinshi_. "Is that porn?" she asked nervously.

"Not this one!" Madarame said eagerly. "It's an epic action/adventure story!"

"What's it about?" Saki asked, briefly caught up by Madarame's enthusiasm.

"My favorite character's home is destroyed, her friends are killed or injured, and her very sanity is pushed beyond its limits!"

Saki gulped. "And you enjoy watching her suffer like that?"

"Of course!!" Madarame cried. "When one loves a fictional character, one must share her anguish and despair!!" 

_I think I'd stick with the porn_ , Saki thought to herself.


	37. Street Artist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 25-Feb-2016; humor; 100 words. Based on _Second Season_.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[a cartographist of things unseen](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3162331.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mild _fujoshi_ humor. Reader discretion is advised.

The girls were reviewing Hato's background sketches for the Summer Comifest.

"The detail in these backgrounds is amazing," Yajima said. "They look like they could be real city streets."

"I used some pictures for reference," Hato said, "but I also added some things."

"I almost hate to superimpose the characters over these sketches," Ogiue said.

"They're not that good," Hato said modestly. "And they wouldn't be very interesting without BL characters."

"If only there really were BL characters on every street in real life," Yoshitake thought out loud.

Everybody in the room paused to drool over that pleasant mental imagery.


	38. Crazy Like A Fox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 7-Mar-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[being crazy isn’t enough](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3171011.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains very mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

"Have you started working out?" Saki asked Ohno. "Not that you were in bad shape, but I can tell you're building up muscle tone."

"Thank you, Saki," said a pleased Ohno. "I'm getting in shape to wear this costume for the summer Comifes." She showed Saki a picture of an anime character on her phone.

Saki's eyes widened. "You'd have to be crazy to wear a costume that skimpy in public! Is she one of your favorite characters?"

Ohno smiled slyly. "No," she said, "but she's one of Tanaka's favorites."

"Oh-HO," Saki said knowingly. "You're not so crazy after all."


	39. You Can't Win, I Can't Win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 15-Mar-2016; angst/humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[games you can’t win, ‘cause you play against you](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3171011.html)" prompt.

Saki sat next to Kohsaka and watched him play another video game. "Is this single-player?" she asked.

"Yes," Kohsaka said. "I'm playing against my previous high score."

"So you'll lose this game if you don't beat your high score?" Saki asked.

"Yes," said Kohsaka.

"But if you DO beat your high score, you're also losing against yourself?"

"Yes," Kohsaka said again.

"And you're playing to lose instead of making out with the hot girl sitting next to you?"

"Yes," a clueless Kohsaka said.

Saki crawled under the blanket on Kohsaka's bed, curled up into a fetal position, and whimpered to herself.


	40. Figured Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 27-Mar-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[you’re not something someone forgot](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3171011.html)" prompt.

Madarame carried a dust-covered figurine up to a shopowner. "How DARE you put _mai waifu_ — I mean, 'Kawaii Sailor Nuriko' on the 'clearance' shelf!?"

The shopowner shrugged. "Her anime ended several years ago. I doubt most of my customers would even recognize that figurine."

"NO ONE could forget Nuriko!!" Madarame declared.

"Look, kid," the shopowner asked, "are you gonna buy yer _waifu_ or not?"

"What's the clearance price?" Madarame asked.

"I was asking ¥2000," the shopowner said. "But for YOU? That'll be ¥4000."

"...I HATE you," Madarame growled.

"Your salty _otaku_ tears only make me stronger," the shopowner said smugly.


	41. Haircut One Hundred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 12-Apr-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[grooming](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3181743.html)" prompt.

Madarame walked into a barbershop, just as Sasahara was leaving.

"If you're going to the club-room after this," Sasahara said, "I'll wait for you."

"Alright. I won't be long." Madarame sat in the barber chair. "Give me the ¥100 cut," he said to the barber.

_I know Madarame scrimps and saves his money for merch,_ Sasahara thought, _but what kind of haircut can he get for ¥100?_

The barber set a large bowl upside-down on Madarame's head like a hat, and then ran his scissors around its edge once.

"Done," the barber said.

_Oh,_ Sasahara thought. _THAT kind of haircut._


	42. Feedback Burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 7-May-2016; humor; 100 words. Based on _Second Season_.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[perhaps we're like the stars, shining alone in the empty void of space. Having faith that one day, our light might reach someone](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3192648.html)" prompt.

Yajima noticed Rika checking her phone for the third time in fifteen minutes. "Expecting a message?" Yajima asked.

"Yes," Rika said expectantly. "I finished and posted the latest chapter of my BL fan-fiction a couple of hours ago."

"And you're expecting a comment so quickly?" Yajima said. "You know, you're lucky if one reader in a hundred leaves a comment, and that's assuming anyone has READ it—"

Rika's face lit up. "EEEEE!! I got a comment!!"

"What did they say?" Yajima asked.

Rika's face fell again. "From Anonymous: You suck."

"Not exactly constructive criticism, is it?" a sympathetic Yajima said.


	43. Sticky Nope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 11-Jul-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3221174.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains EWW. Reader discretion is advised.

Sasahara walked into the club-room, and found Saki standing by the window. "Why don't you sit down?" a friendly Sasahara said.

"Feel the table and the chair seats," Saki said.

Sasahara touched them, and found them to be so tacky that he had trouble peeling his fingers away.

"It's probably just some spilled model glue," Sasahara said, "from when Tanaka and the others were working on their models."

Saki raised an eyebrow. "'Probably', Sasahara?"

"...probably," Sasahara said nervously.

"We're taking all of the furniture outside and POWER-WASHING it," Saki said, "and then I'M taking a VERY LONG VERY HOT SHOWER!!"


	44. High School Disspirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 29-Jul-2016; angst?/humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[when one gets trapped inside the past, dreams can turn to nightmares fast](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3221174.html)" prompt.

Saki found Sasahara browsing a new manga. "More high-school based stories?" she asked with disdain.

"Yeah," Sasahara said with equal disdain. "I'm tired of them, but nothing else is coming out this month."

Saki blinked in confusion. "I though you loved Ritsuko and all those other high-school characters."

"Sure," Sasahara said, "but it gets old. And I didn't enjoy high school. I didn't like the classes or clubs, and the girls were even less friendly than YOU were at first."

"I wonder why they write so many high-school based stories," Saki said.

"The writers probably hate _otaku_ too," Sasahara guessed.


	45. Dragging Out An Argument

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 10-Aug-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[our romance after long silence](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3229023.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains brief weird adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Kohsaka walked into the Genshiken club-room alone. "Are you and Saki still not talking?" Sasahara asked.

"Yes," Kohsaka said with his usual cheerful smile. "She's been giving me the 'silent treatment' for days. But she'll come around soon."

Saki suddenly barged into the room. Without a word, she grabbed Kohsaka by his collar and dragged him back out of the club-room.

"Yikes," said Sasahara. "At least she 'came around'."

"Either she's dragging him away to have angry sex with him," Tanaka guessed, "or else she's just going to beat the snot out of him."

"Either way," Madarame added, "it's hot."


	46. Saturday Night's Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 10-Sep-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[Don't do that then!](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3243917.html)" prompt.

"If you're not doing anything this Friday," Ohno asked Saki, "would you like to go see a movie together?"

"A girls night out?" Saki said. "Well, it's not like I'm doing anything with Kohsaka. But don't you want to spend time with Tanaka?"

"He's been busy with classes and cosplay commissions," Ohno explained. "I'm giving him Friday to catch up with his workload."

"That's very thoughtful," an impressed Saki said.

"But he had better get his work done and get some rest," Ohno said lustily, "'cause, come Saturday night, he's MINE."

"A little self-interest never hurt anything either," Saki said.


	47. Measured By Volume

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 19-Sep-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[I didn't change anything!](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3243917.html)" prompt.

Madarame was inspecting the Genshiken club-room shortly after Sasahara had become president.

"You know, it's only been a week," Sasahara said. "I didn't change anything—"

"A-HA!!" Madarame pointed at a shelf of manga. "You've changed the order of these volumes!!"

"Well, yeah," Sasahara said. "They were out of order."

Madarame pondered this. "...I'll allow it," he finally said.

"If you knew they were out of order," Sasahara asked, "why didn't YOU sort them?"

"TRADITION, you FOOL!!" Madarame cried.

"THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!!" Sasahara shouted.

"GENSHIKEN IS NOT ABOUT MAKING SENSE!!" Madarame yelled.

"You got me there," Sasahara agreed.


	48. Picture This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 27-Oct-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[painting pictures with words](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3253389.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "[Picture This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QbdCpi4qTNY)" by Blondie.
> 
> This contains very mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Saki stared at the others as they tried to read their manga.

"WHAT!?" Madarame finally said.

"One of my professors lectured today on how modern society is becoming post-literate," Saki said, "and watching you read CARTOON books makes me believe it."

"We've already been over this," Madarame said with very little patience. "Manga stimulates the creative areas of the brain!... among other things."

Saki rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right. Whatever."

"This foolish mundane girl simply cannot visualize the subtleties and nuances of the manga art-form," Madarame said to the others. 

Saki made an extremely rude gesture. "Visualize THIS," she growled.


	49. Truth In Advertising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 9-Nov-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[truth is tough](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3253389.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains cruel humor. Reader discretion is advised.

The club was sitting around a small television and watching a new late-night anime. After the credits rolled, an advertisement for a campustown restaurant aired:

"HEY LOSERS!! HAD ENOUGH OF WATCHING LATE-NIGHT ANIME, ALONE AND HUNGRY, WITHOUT A DATE OR A GIRLFRIEND!? WELL, YOU'LL PROBABLY NEVER HAVE A DATE OR A GIRLFRIEND— SO TREAT YOURSELF TO THE BEST CURRY IN THE CAMPUSTOWN!!..."

"...so, wanna go get some curry?" Sasahara asked the others weakly.

"Actually," Madarame said, "I was thinking of killing myself out of sheer loneliness."

"We could go get some curry first," Tanaka said.

"...well, alright," Madarame said reluctantly.


	50. Collecting Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 25-Nov-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[regrets collect like old friends](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3266685.html)" prompt.

Tanaka was showing off his collection of models and figurines to an interested Ohno and an uninterested Saki.

"I like the design of this mecha," Ohno said.

"That was one of the first models I ever assembled," Tanaka said. "I wish I could do it over again."

"Oh," said Ohno. "Well... this figurine is cute."

"I wish I had bought her full set," Tanaka said.

"If building models and collecting figurines just leaves you with regrets," Saki suddenly said, "why do you keep doing it?"

"For the same reasons why you keep dating Kohsaka," said Tanaka bluntly.

"...touché," Saki admitted.


	51. Need For Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 17-Dec-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[what will happen on the last page?](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3272715.html)" prompt.

The club was enjoying a quiet evening when Madarame suddenly dropped his manga and screamed a not-at-all manly scream.

"WHAT!?" Sasahara asked after his heart resumed beating.

"This manga storyline is ending," Madarame cried, "but its final page is missing!"

Kugayama examined Madarame's manga. "Muh- must be a mispuh- print," he said.

"MUST!! BUY!! ANOTHER COPY!!" Madarame declared.

"Too late," Tanaka said. "All of the shops are closed."

A desperate Madarame turned to Sasahara. "YOU!! I need a closure fan fiction, two-thousand words minimum!"

"But I haven't read that manga," Sasahara said.

"DON'T CARE!!" Madarame yelled. "WRITE WORDS ABOUT PEOPLE!!"


	52. This Kills The Fanboy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 25-Jan-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[it’s the thing that ruins you](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3284216.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains possible character death. Reader discretion is advised.

Madarame staggered into the club-room. "Dude!" said Sasahara. "You look like death on burnt toast."

"I spent my food money on a full-season box-set," Madarame said weakly but proudly, "and then I stayed up all night to watch it."

"You haven't had food OR sleep!?" Sasahara said. "You're running on nothing but OXYGEN!"

As if on cue, Madarame saw a manga on the table. "Ooh! I love the smell of new manga."

He opened the manga over his face, took a deep breath, and collapsed onto the table.

"He's dead," Kugayama noted.

"He died doing what he loved," Tanaka added.


	53. The Game Ended In A Tie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 14-Feb-2017; humor/romance; 200 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[didn't know a heart could be tied up and held for ransom](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3295603.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains slightly OOC kinky adult humor (natch). Reader discretion is advised.

Kohsaka was playing video games in his room while an utterly bored Saki browsed his gaming magazines.

Saki suddenly snickered to herself. "What is it?" Kohsaka asked without looking away.

"This [advertisement](http://resource.mmgn.com/Gallery/full/Old-Gameboy-Advertisement-1041428.jpg)," Saki said, "where the guy tied up his girlfriend so that he could ignore her and play games. I bet you'd love to do that to me, huh."

"Yes and no," Kohsaka said with unnerving honesty. "I'd love to tie you up, but I wouldn't ignore you."

Saki's mouth fell open. "Wait— WHAT!? You never told me that you liked bondage!"

"I didn't think you'd be interested," Kohsaka said. "Even 'vanilla' cosplay makes you violently angry."

"Well, yeah," Saki said, "but cosplay is for PERVERTS. Getting tied up is kinky, but that's... different."

Kohsaka paused his game and turned to his girlfriend. "Are you saying you ARE interested?" he asked.

Saki laid back on Kohsaka's bed, crossed her wrists above her head, and smiled seductively at Kohsaka.

Kohsaka switched off his game, stood up, and pulled the belt from a bathrobe. "Are you sure about this?" he asked.

"I'm already helplessly in love with you," Saki said. "If being literally helpless gets your attention, it 'works' for ME."


	54. Shifting Into Overdrive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 15-Mar-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[like painting the Forth Bridge](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3306592.html)" prompt.

The club stood in the middle of the Genshiken club-room, surveying shelves packed with manga and doujinshi.

"At last," Sasahara said. "Every volume is cataloged, graded by condition, and shelved in chronological order."

"Well done, everybody," an impressed Madarame said.

"But the shelves are completely full now," Tanaka noted. "We'll have to shift EVERYTHING for each new book."

"And tuh- today is Wuh- Wednesday," Kugayama added.

As if on cue, Ohno walked in with a thick paper bag. "I picked up everybody's 'holds'," she said sweetly.

The club turned to her with a shared look of sheer dread.

Ohno sweat-dropped.


	55. Booth Babes In The Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 1-Apr-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[strange, that some of us with quick attentive vision, see beyond our infatuation](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3316945.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains very mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Madarame and Sasahara were attending a new comics convention. "It looks like we have the place to ourselves," Madarame said.

"It's a shame," Sasahara said. "They should've held a cosplay event, or hired a few cosplay models, to attract more attendees."

"No, that wouldn't work," Madarame said.

"Why not?" Sasahara said. "'Booth babes' are unacceptable at business events, but image models should be OK for comic-fests."

"Think, you fool," Madarame said. "We're _otaku_."

"Ah," Sasahara said. "Either we wouldn't be able to stop staring at the girls, or we'd be too shy to be in the same room with them."


	56. Expounding Sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 3-May-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[a rare coin](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3324655.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).

The gang was spending another day at the beach, sheltering under an umbrella and watching a nearby man swing a metal detector over the sand.

"At least we're not the most socially-awkward people here, huh," Sasahara said.

As if on cue, a woman with a matching metal detector ran up. "Look! Look! I found an old coin!" she said proudly.

"That's great! Let's take a break and get some lemonade." The man held an arm around her as they walked away.

"...you were saying?" Madarame asked Sasahara.

"I'm feeling more awkward than ever," Sasahara said sadly, "and on multiple levels."


	57. Life Gives You Lemons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 26-May-2017; humor; 200 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[lemon](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3324655.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains slightly OOC adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Saki and Ohno were strolling across campus on a warm sunny day.

Ohno was sipping lemonade in a large cup with a lid. "Can I have a drink?" Saki asked.

"Sure." Ohno handed the lemonade to Saki, who took a pull, and then returned it to her.

Ohno winked as she took another drink herself. "Indirect kiss," she said mischievously.

"Don't say that around the guys," Saki said. "You'll give them the wrong idea about us."

"Oh Saki, you sweet summer child," Ohno said. "I'm afraid that 'ship' 'sailed' long ago."

Saki grimaced. "And you're OK with that?"

Ohno shrugged. "If they don't harass us, why would I mind? Shipping is perfectly natural."

"No it isn't," Saki said.

"Oh, come on," Ohno said playfully. "Haven't you ever shipped Kohsaka with another man?"

"No," Saki said, "because I'm not a crazy weirdo freak."

"You are now visualizing Kohsaka naked on a bed and submissively experimenting with another man," Ohno said.

"WHY would you DO THAT when you KNOW that Kohsaka is STRAIGHT!?" Saki yelled. "That's... that's..."

Saki paused, and a deeply disturbing smile came to her face. "Actually," she admitted, "that's strangely intriguing."

"[Let the perversion flow through you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Avn2nT16FA)," Ohno suggested.


	58. VR Headset Against It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 27-Jun-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[true freedom - of body and soul](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3326885.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains cheesy adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

The gang had gone to a computer-science open house. They watched another student demonstrate a VR headset.

"Just imagine what VR will be capable of in a few years," Sasahara said.

"Porn, right?" a cynical Saki said.

"Your lack of imagination is as profound as ever," Madarame sneered. "Augmented reality will facilitate immersive experiences limited only by your own creativity."

"It'll also bring a whole new dimension to gaming," Kohsaka added. 

The student wearing the VR headset smiled a deeply disturbing smile, reached out with his hands, and made a familiar cupping motion.

"I'm still thinkin' porn," Saki said smugly.


	59. Wait For Her Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 13-Aug-2017; angst/humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[the moon has set and the Pleiades; it is the middle of the night and the hours go by and so I lie here alone](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3328150.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).

Kohsaka returned to his room, and found Saki moping on his bed.

"I'm so sorry Genshiken ran late," Kohsaka said as he closed the door.

"At least you called to let me know..." Saki checked the time. "...four hours ago."

"You didn't have to stay here and wait on me," Kohsaka said.

"Yes I did," Saki said as she stood up. "You gave me your key, remember? But also..."

She walked up to Kohsaka and embraced him. "Aren't you angry with me?" he asked.

"Yes," Saki said, "but I'm also lonely. And right now, I'm way more lonely than angry."


	60. All Night Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 9-Sep-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[the border between rising and falling](https://31-days.livejournal.com/2593257.html)" prompt (back-posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Ohno staggered into the Genshiken club-room and sat down heavily. "Are you OK?" Sasahara asked.

"Tanaka pulled an all-nighter to finish a costume," Ohno said through a yawn. "He needed a mannequin, and so I had to stay up too."

"That was very kind of you to help him out," Sasahara said with a smile.

"When a guy keeps his girl up all night," Saki also said with a smile, "it's usually to do certain things WITHOUT clothing."

"We need to pay down our sleep debt first," Ohno said with a sleepy smile, "but we've made plans for this weekend."


	61. Crossing The Punchline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 17-Sep-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[violence you can see and violence that hides](https://31-days.livejournal.com/2593257.html)" prompt (back-posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains pending violence. Reader discretion is advised.

Sasahara read the last page of a manga, and sighed loudly.

"Problem?" Saki asked. "Not that I really want to know."

"The good guy was about to beat down the bad guy," Sasahara explained, "but the manga ended before the scene played out."

"Obviously for dramatic effect, you fool," Madarame sneered. "The payoff could never be as good as you're imagining it now."

"It's still disappointing," an annoyed Sasahara said.

"That would be disappointing," Saki said thoughtfully. "I know it's not the same, but wanna watch me slap Madarame around?"

"HEY!!" Madarame cried.

"...alright," Sasahara said.

"HEY!!" Madarame cried again.


	62. Do Not Want Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 16-Oct-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[only infinite desire](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3329101.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).

Ohno and Saki watched the rest of Genshiken as they watched anime heroines on the club-room television.

"Don't you wish they were staring at us like that?" Ohno said wistfully.

"Nope," said Saki.

"Oh, come on," Ohno said playfully. "You're always complaining about how Kohsaka ignores you."

"Well, yeah," Saki said, "but there's loving tender affection, and then there's... whatever THAT is."

"If you'd just try cosplay," Ohno said, "you could experience it for yourself."

Saki shuddered. "No offense, hon, but you're as creepy as one of them."

"I AM one of them," Ohno said with a deeply disturbing smile.


	63. Flower Powerless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 2-Nov-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[guilty flowers](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3329779.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains predictable grim humor. Reader discretion is advised.

An unusually subdued Kohsaka slinked into a small flower shop near the campus.

"Can I help you, sir?" the extremely cheerful attendant asked.

"I hope so," Kohsaka. "I've scre— excuse me, goofed up badly with my girlfriend."

The attendant immediately became deadly serious. "Tell me everything," she said.

"I accidentally stood her up on a date to celebrate her birthday..."

The attendant gasped.

"...because of a new game release," Kohsaka finished nervously.

The attendant grimaced. "I'm a florist, not a miracle worker."

"What should I do?" Kohsaka asked.

"Have you considered _seppuku_?" the attendant asked.

"That's 'Plan B'," Kohsaka agreed.


	64. Genshiken Festivus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 18-Dec-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[every year you lick that pole. I can't believe you haven't learned yet](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3330148.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).

The gang had invited Saki to the club-room for her first Genshiken holiday dinner.

"I know there isn't much spare room in here," Saki said, "but aren't you going to put up a tree or a few decorations?"

"We already did." Madarame pointed to a single plain aluminum pole on a stand.

"Huh?" said Saki.

"It's part of how we celebrate [Festivus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus)," Kohsaka explained.

"I don't suppose that's the weirdest part," Saki said hopefully.

"After dinner," Sasahara said, "we'll have our annual 'Airing of Grievances'."

"Ooh!" Saki's face lit up. "After dealing with you freaks, I've got PLENTY of grievances!"


	65. Triangulated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 16-Jan-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[it must symbolize something unseen](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3331131.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).

"What are you reading?" Madarame asked Sasahara.

"It's an illustrated history of the Bermuda Triangle mystery," Sasahara said.

Madarame rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me that you BELIEVE that nonsense!"

"Nah," Sasahara said. "Although, somehow, I thought you might believe in it."

"Please!" Madarame said dismissively. "I might lead a rich fantasy life, but I can still tell the difference between fantasy and reality. There are no Atlantean aliens or government conspiracies behind the Bermuda Triangle."

"Sorry," said Sasahara.

"That's just what the government and the aliens WANT us to think," Madarame added.

"Aaaaaand there it is," Sasahara said nervously.


	66. Unusual Interests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 1-Feb-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[it's not just that you're different— it's that you're not the same](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3332043.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Saki had blown off Genshiken to go to a house party with a mundane friend, but she wasn't mingling.

"Loosen up, Saki," her friend asked. "I know you have a boyfriend now, but you can still have fun."

"Sorry," Saki said. "I don't mean to be rude... but this party is kinda boring."

"Don't tell me you LIKE those Genshiken freaks!?" Saki's friend cried.

"Not exactly," Saki said nervously, "but they ARE interesting people."

"Why Saki!" her friend said smugly. "I think you have a 'fetish fetish'!"

"Maybe I do," Saki shot back, "but that just means I'm interesting too."


	67. That Girl Needs Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 1-Mar-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[my imagination needs therapy](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3333751.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> See also "[Frontier Psychiatrist](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLrnkK2YEcE)" by The Avalanches.

Saki walked into the Genshiken club-room and noticed a bearded man in a suit sitting in a chair in the far corner. "Who's the geezer?" she asked.

"A professor from the department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences," Sasahara explained. "He's conducting a study on us."

"Doesn't he have any subjects with a less tenuous grasp of reality?" Saki snarked.

"Don't forget that you're a member of this club too," Madarame said smugly.

Saki turned to the professor. "I'm NOT one of THEM," she said earnestly.

"Oh dear," the professor said to himself. "The poor girl is in denial."

Saki sweat-dropped.


	68. No One To Blame But Our Shelves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 4-Apr-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](https://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[and so it all came tumbling down](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3336873.html)" prompt.

Sasahara and Madarame were leaving the Genshiken club-room after all of the other members.

"Doesn't it look, from the doorway, like some of the shelves are leaning forward into the room?" Sasahara asked.

"No, not at all. You must be imagining things," Madarame said as he pulled the door shut firmly.

They suddenly overheard [a very long, very loud crashing noise that ended with the sound of an empty bucket falling over](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-EgaAIA2BM&t=0m9s).

Sasahara sighed. "At least we'll have something to do tomorrow."

"It's important to have things to look forward to!" Madarame said with a fake smile and unconvincing enthusiasm.


	69. Spoil Her Spoiler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 6-May-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](https://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[innocence died screaming](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3337647.html)" prompt.

Kohsaka and Saki found Madarame trying NOT to talk about a movie with Sasahara.

"I haven't seen that movie yet!" Madarame said. "Don't spoil it for me!"

"Kohsaka took me to see that movie," Saki said with an evil grin. "And—"

"[The cat-girl maid did it](http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheButlerDidIt)," Sasahara said.

"AARGH!!" said both Madarame and Saki.

Ohno walked up. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Saki started to answer her, but Sasahara replied first. "I spoiled Saki's spoiler."

"Oh, I see!" Ohno said brightly. "And now, you've spoiled her spoiler spoiler!"

"It doesn't matter," Saki said sadly. "You've all already spoiled MY entire LIFE."


End file.
